Tallest Tree

There is no Christmas tree taller than the one reflected in the eyes of a one year old.

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Christmas Mystery

It's been many, many years since Christ was part of Christmas in our public schools. I wonder what a teacher says to a small child when asked, "Why is it called Christmas?" I'm quite sure many of them honestly answer, "I really don't know."

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Seasonal Symptoms

I get a headache, then begin shallow breathing, which leads to bleeding from my ears, and culminates with convulsions just thinking about stings of tangled Christmas tree lights.

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Political Percentages

It is easy to define politicians if you use percentages.

DEMOCRAT: Someone who is 51% arrogant and 49% greedy.
REPUBLICAN: Someone who is 49% arrogant and 51% greedy.
INDEPENDENT: Someone who is 50% arrogant and 50% greedy.

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Almost Perfect

I am but one fault away from being perfect. I am a sinner.

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Wedding Cake

Someone once said that the most dangerous food is wedding cake. I had me a big piece of wedding cake about 43 years ago and I ain't dead yet.

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Foolproof Directions

Three lefts make a right and three rights make a left.

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Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Arrogance on the left, greed on the right, and the rest of us caught in the middle.

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Healthy Common Sense

"No law shall be passed that restricts a person's freedom of choice of private health care systems or private plans of any type. No law shall interfere with a person's or entity's right to pay directly for lawful medical services, nor shall any law impose a penalty or fine, of any type, for choosing to obtain or decline health care coverage or for participation in any particular health care system or plan."

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Great Adventures

Truly great adventures are the ones you never forget. They may be short, or they may be long. They may make you laugh, or they may make you cry. And when they are over you just can't wait to tell everyone about it and then go do it again.
Come to think of it, Sunday sermons at our church are like that.

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Never Upside Down

It seems like everytime you turn around these days the world is upside down because of some crisis, calamity or catastrophy. Good thing when God created the heavens and earth he also created gravity.

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Consensus Is Not Science

If consensus were science, our world would still be flat.

http://holycoast.blogspot.com/2009/11/science-doesnt-support-current-global.html

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Dead Horse

The fool grabs a stick and beats a dead horse.
The wise man grabs a shovel and buries it.

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Thinking

"Five percent of the people think;
ten percent of the people think they think; and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think."
— Thomas A. Edison

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Death of Liberty

When liberty dies, it is more often from the silence than from the gun.

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50/50

Basically, we have a two party system for electing our public officials. So when we go into the voting booth to vote it's a fifty-fifty proposition...fifty percent worthless and fifty percent useless.

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The Aging of Time

When I was young, yesterday was yesterday and tomorrow was tomorrow. Now I'm over sixty and tomorrow was yesterday.

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Competency

I'd rather be a competent nobody than an incompetent somebody.

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Admiration

Who do you admire?
The person who says, "I cannot tell a lie".
Or the person who says, "I won't tell a lie".
Beware of the arrogant, for we are all sinners.
Admire the person who says, "I'll try not to".

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Scarce

Where would conservatives be without The Fox Network?
Scarce sir...mighty scarce.

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Lightning and Bugs

Do you know the difference between Fox News and the rest of the news networks?
How about the difference between lightning and a bunch of lightning bugs?

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Good Ideas

Most good ideas are pondered impulses.

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Intolerance

I am ignorant about you.
I am predjudice toward you.
I am afraid of you.
And any relationship I may have with you,
Will be utterly intolerable.

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Everywhere, Somewhere, Nowhere

We are patriots.
We are everywhere.
But if we do not stand up
And we do not speak up
We will be nowhere.
And those that are left
Will be organized somewhere.
And the United States of America
Will be GONE!!!

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Old and Young

I'm too old to feel this young and I blame it all on my grandchildren.

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Destinations

We are all going to end up where we are all going except there are two entirely different destinations.

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Magic Beans

Hey Jack! If your scared of climbing to new heights and you don't like messing around with giants, you might want to think twice about trading your cow for a handful of magic beans.

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Basket Weaving 101

Remember all the stories about the dumb college jocks and how they just managed to complete their academic requirements by taking courses like "Basket Weaving 101"? Well, it has just been discovered that all the politicians in Washington took that same basket weaving course when they were in college. And, for the past several years, instead of debating the social issues of the day and writing and passing laws, they have been working on weaving a gigantic basket that reportedly will be big enough so that they can put the entire United States of America in it. Not only is this basket special because of its enormity, but it also is a special kind of basket. It's called a "hand basket". And when it is finished you and I both know where this country is going to go.

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Exciting And Dangerous Lifestyle

For someone over sixty, I have a very exciting and dangerous lifestyle. As an example, I just sat down at my computer, took the mouse apart and cleaned the lint out of it with a pair of tweezers.

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Somebody

I always wanted to be somebody and now that I have eight grandchildren I am. Come to think of it, after the first one I was.

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To Spread or Not To Spread

"I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody.”
— Barack Obama

"You don't make the poor richer by making the rich poorer."
— Winston S. Churchill

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After Life Guarantee

How to guarantee no funeral when you die...outlive all your relatives and never have any friends.

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Smarter

We would all be a lot smarter if every time our computer gave us the answer it would also ask us a follow-up question.

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Verification

The thoughts expressed in this blog, either mine or quoted, shall most likely verify the speculation that my ignorance is, and always has been, instantaneous.

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Huh?

I'm no dummy. I know a lot of useless stuff.

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The First Squeeze

"Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?'"
— Bill Watterson

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Learning

You learn what you want to know when you want to learn and you learn what you don't want to know when you make a mistake.

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Coat of Character

They say when you paint your house it's like a new coat of character. Maybe we ought to paint all the politicians in Washington. Or maybe, just to be on the safe side, we should start all over and tear down both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.

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Counting

“Not everything that can be counted counts,
And not everything that counts can be counted.”
- Albert Einstein

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I Wish

I wish there was no such thing as wars.
I wish ther was no such thing as floods and famines.
And I wish there was no such thing as cleaning out the cat box.

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When I Was Alive

When I was alive
I wasn't Billy Graham,
I wasn't Abraham Lincoln,
And I wasn't Bill Gates.
I was just me.
And the Lord just told me that the world is a better place,
Because I was important in the life of a child.

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Dreaming

The American Dream use to be something you could see when you were awake.

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Town Hall Debates

"The sharpest criticism often goes hand in hand with the deepest idealism and love of country."
— Robert F. Kennedy

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On The Other Hand

"On the other hand, you have different fingers"
— Jack Handey

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No Brainer

Some say I got no brains, just a soft heart and a sense of humor. Don't know if I'm alright or not. Guess it's cause I got no brains.

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Chief Cook

If you want to be the chief cook and bottle washer in your profession make sure your food is fresh and your dishes are clean.

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Your As Young As You Feel

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

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Crooked Road - Straight Road

The father grabbed the misbehaving son with one hand, the switch with the other hand and headed for the wood shed.
"Son, your a crooked road that needs straightening."
To which the son replied, "But dad, straight roads are boring."
I wonder if they made it to the wood shed?

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Climb Your Mountain

Two reasons why you need to climb your mountain now.
- Reason #1: Sooner or later you'll run out of gas.
- Reason #2: You can't coast uphill

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Pundits Beware

If you use fear as a tool you’ll soon assemble a panicked mob that will throw you under the bus at the first sign of danger.

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Good Blog - Great Blog

A good blog is the storefront window of the bloggers mind. A great blog is the storefront window of the bloggers heart.

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Opportunities

Your biggest opportunities will be conceived not in your head, but in your heart.

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Athiest Heaven

Athiests look at Heaven as a phenomenally unlikely payoff.

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Greatest Teacher

The greatest teacher of them all was never given any degrees or diplomas, just scars.

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Five Pianos

A guy by the name of Michael Levin once said, "Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist." Maybe so, but I can tell you this. Someone with five children better be a parent just like someone with five pianos better be a pianist.

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A Girl Thing...A Boy Thing

I just finished reading a question posted on Facebook from a young mom friend of mine. She asked, "Why do little girls scream so much?" And a young mom friend of hers commented, "If you figure it out tell me why little boys roughhouse so much?" The answer to both questions is very simple. Screaming is "a girl thing" and roughhousing is "a boy thing". Now you're going to ask me how I came to such a profound conclusion. The answer is I've got two daughters who have blessed me with seven and soon to be eight grandchildren. And my five year old grandson Ben gave me probably the most important illustration of what a girl thing is compared to what a boy thing is. Read on and I'll tell you why.

I have had the wonderful experience of helping my wife raise our two daughters. We are also in the process of helping our oldest daughter raise three of our soon to be eight grandchildren. Those three live just down the street. The other four soon to be five live 300 miles away. As for the three down the street, Brooke is fourteen, Bentley is twelve, and, as I've mentioned, five year old Ben. Since his mom is a single mom and Nana takes care of him when mommy is working he is surrounded by all girls, except Papa. Therefore, there have been times in the past couple of years when I have had to explain to him that there are certain things that girls do and there are certain things that boys do. Let me illustrate.

Once his sisters dressed him up in girls clothes. I told him boys don't wear dresses, only girls wear dresses. He kept on wearing the dress and having a blast, but I'm sure he understood it was a girl thing. Another time one of his sisters painted his toes with fingernail polish. Papa said, "Only girls wear fingernail polish". He still thought his toes looked cool, but I'm sure he understood it was a girl thing. And then there are times when I tell him that there were things that boys do that girls don't do. Like the time when Papa and Ben went fishing off the dock and Ben had to pee. There was no one around and there was no potty to be found. Well, you get the picture. It's a boy thing.

So what does all of that have to do with Ben telling Papa what "a girl thing" is? Please read on.

Monday was the first day of school and Ben's first day of kindergarten. We had decided that Papa would pick up the kids in the morning and take them to school on his way to work. But being such a big event, mommy arranged to go into work a little late just to take Ben and his sisters to school the first day. The next morning I drove down the street and picked them up to take them to school. Mommy gave Ben a big hug at the front door and said, "Love you". Ben gave his mom a big hug in return and said, "Love you mommy". Ben got in the car in his seat in back next to his big sister. His other sister rode up front with me for the five minute ride to school. It was a foggy morning so we had a detailed discussion about the differences between fog and smoke. Like, you can smell smoke but you can't smell fog. Then, out of the blue and just as we were pulling into the school parking lot, Ben said to his older sister, "Love you Brooke". Then he said to is younger sister, "Love you Bentley". I waited a second and said, "How about me?". There was a slight pause and Ben replied, "Papa, that's a girl thing".

See, even Ben lets Papa know that certain things are a girl thing and crtain things are a boy thing. And now I don't worry as much about wether or not I'm doing a good job helping my daughter raise her son (the son I never had). Oh, and you folks don't have to worry either. When there are no other boys or girls around Ben wraps his arms around me and says, "Love you Papa".

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Disabilities

Albert Einstein claimed that science without religion is lame, and religion without science is blind. Praise God that Christianity is a way of life and has no disabilities.

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Mental Health

My daughter is a mental health counsellor. She tells me that one out of every four people suffers from a mental illness. I guess I'm pretty lucky that all three of my golfing buddies are mentally stable.

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Sleepy Conscience Syndrome

You have Sleepy Conscience Syndrome when...
You put twenty dollars in the offering plate every Sunday and buy twenty dollars worth of lottery tickets every Monday.

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Eyes Closed

Most people who shoot themselves in the foot have their eyes closed.

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A Wise Miss

Sometimes it's wise to miss on purpose.
Especially if you're about to shoot yourself in the foot.

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The Winds of Grace

The winds of God's grace were always blowing.
I tried rowing against the wind and it was impossible.
I tried rowing with wind and that helped.
Then I raised the sails of Jesus Christ.
Halleluiah, Heaven is just over the horizon!

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Even Though We're All Americans

"It is so much easier to blame it on Them. It is bleakly depressing to think that They are Us, even though we're all Americans. If it is Them, then nothing is our fault. If it is Us, what does that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be, even though we're all Americans. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one would ever think of themselves as one of Them, even though we're all Americans. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things."

— Terry Pratchett (with a twist)

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Comic Book Clarity

"Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world - "No, you move.""

— Captain America

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I Hope Not.

"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you."

— Harlan Ellison

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Style Or Principle?

"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."

-Thomas Jefferson

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Meekness Defined

""For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

2 Timothy 1:7

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Liberty 2009 ?

"But what is liberty without wisdom and without virtue? It is the greatest of all possible evils; for it is folly, vice, and madness, without tuition or restraint. Those who know what virtuous liberty is, cannot bear to see it disgraced by incapable heads, on account of their having high-sounding words in their mouths."

— Edmund Burke

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What Was Good For The Colonists Is Good Enough For Me

Let the names of Republican and Democrat be extinct.
Let none other be heard among us,
Than those of a good citizen,
An open and resolute friend,
A virtuous supporter of
The rights of all mankind,
And an eternal defender of
The Constitution of the United States of America.

Thomas Paine circa 2009

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Wolves Eat Sheep

"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves."

— Edward R. Murrow

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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy talking their heads off on radio and television.

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Albert Einstein said, "Never memorize something that you can look up." Wonder what he would think about "Google"?

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Wisdom of A Six Year Old

"Kids say the darndest things". You've probably heard this said many times and you yourself have heard kids say the darndest things. But sometimes, if you stop and think about what kids say, sometimes they say the wisest things.

Think about this.

My six year old granddaughter lives in South Carolina. A few weeks ago her dad had a job interview in New Hamspire. He and my daughter decided it would be nice to make the trip a week long family affair. So, they packed my four gradchildren in their Ford F-150 supercab pick-up and drove to New Hampshire.

After a very long and very cramped two days on the road my son-in-law announced that they were about to cross the state line into New Hamshire. Everyone looked out the window and, finally, there was the interstate sign that said "Welcome to New Hampshire". There was a loud collective cheer from the four road weary kids. Then my son-in-law pointed to another sign on the side of the road and informed his children that it was New Hampshire's state motto, "Live Free or Die". There was a long period of silence inside the cramped pick-up and then my six year old granddaughter, knowing that she perhaps would be living in New Hampshire, declared,
"I guess I'll live free".

Think about the history and the true meaning of "Live Free or Die" and the person who first spoke those words. Think about all of the brave patriots who fought and died for our country. Now think about how easy it was for my six year old granddaughter to declare..."I Guess I'll Live Free".

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Why "Think About It"?

Long, long ago way up north in the woods of the great state of Maine there lived an insurance man (a very successful insurance man, I might add) who determined he wanted to be governor. The year was 1974. If you don't remember the year, or were yet to be born, it was when McDonald's gave you back change from a dollar when you bought a cheeseburger, fries and a drink. If you don't remember the man his name was James B. Longley, Jr. He was fed up with the Republican and Democrat politicians in his state and decided to run for governor as an Independent.

I, on the other hand, was recently out of the military, had been laid off due to the bad economy, and was in training to become an insurance salesman (I had to support my new family somehow). Part of my training required attending a seminar which included a luncheon featuring Mr. Longley as the guest speaker. There was about a dozen trainees at the seminar. We had our lunch and then listened to Mr. Longley give a somewhat atypical political stump speech in that he kept repeating over and over; "I am not a professional politician"..."I am not a professional politician"..."I am not a professional politician". And if you looked at his resume he wasn't a "professional" politician. He was an insurance man who was also a lawyer running for political office for the first time as an Independent.

When Mr. Longley finished we were instructed to form a line to say hello to him and then pay for our lunch. I will never forget what happened next. The guy in front of me took a ten dollar bill out of his wallet to pay for the lunch and put it in his left hand. He walked up to Mr. Longley and as they were shaking hands Mr. Longley, without hesitation, took the ten dollar bill, said "thank you for your your support", and stiffed the ten dollars in his pocket. He then turned and greeted me. I then looked at the guy in front of me. He was just standing there staring at his left hand with his mouth wide open.

The luncheon was the end of the seminar and as I was walking to my car I noticed in the far corner of the parking lot Mr. Longley's big motor home that he used for his campaign tours around the state. Painted all along both sides of the motor home was his campaign slogan "Think About It". And, you guessed it. All I could "think about" was the guy's ten dollar bill going into Mr. (I'm not a professional politician) Longley's pocket in the blink of an eye. I thought about it so much that I did not vote for him on election day. Election day came and, you guessed it again, James B. Longley, Jr. became the first Independent governor of the State of Maine. But, I have to admit, Mr. Longley was not a professioanl politician in one respect. Most of the promises he made during his campaign, he kept. His most repeated promise was, if elected, he would serve only one term...and he did!

Thus, the origin of the name of this blog. I hope that whatever I say here will cause you to pause and................. "Think About It".

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Think About It

This is my first attempt at blogging. Just feeling my way around. Next blog post will explain "Think About It".

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